This is how you open a bottle of wine, at least when you belong to one of the book clubs I'm in:
1. Put corkscrew into cork.
2. Pull gently.
3. Watch nothing move.
4. Curse creatively at whoever invented plastic corks.
5. Pull harder.
6. Repeat steps 3 and 4.
7. Get a pipe wrench and pull top of cork.
8. Hooray! Movement!
9. Rats. It stopped.
10. Repeat step 4.
11. Get a pair of pliers and a hack saw just in case.
12. Pull cork with pliers.
13. Hooray! The cork came out!
14. Repeat step 4 for good measure.
15. Take a photo - it makes such a charming still life tableau.