Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Still Life With Cork

This is how you open a bottle of wine, at least when you belong to one of the book clubs I'm in:
1. Put corkscrew into cork.
2. Pull gently.
3. Watch nothing move.
4. Curse creatively at whoever invented plastic corks.
5. Pull harder.
6. Repeat steps 3 and 4.
7. Get a pipe wrench and pull top of cork.
8. Hooray! Movement!
9. Rats. It stopped.
10. Repeat step 4.
11. Get a pair of pliers and a hack saw just in case.
12. Pull cork with pliers.
13. Hooray! The cork came out!
14. Repeat step 4 for good measure.
15. Take a photo - it makes such a charming still life tableau.

7 comments:

Jim said...

That will sure make you thirsty. I tend to take bag out of box unscrew top.

babooshka said...

One more thing. Then drink it. In the portal I thought this was all a little Sweeney Todd. Why my eyes saw a cut throat razor I don't know.

Leedra said...

Think that might be why I gave up drinking wine lots of years ago. I couldn't get the bottle open.

Small City Scenes said...

Have a big drink.
curse some more
And then take the picture.

Tools of the trade, I guess. MB

marley said...

I notice the wine was no where to be seen! Good bottle?!

I was at a party at our locally comunity centre and I had bottles of beer to drink. Surprise, surprise - no bottle opener at the hall! After bashing it against the kitchen work top my friend pulled the tops off with his teeth! Desperate times call for desperate measures!!

Saretta said...

Was the wine any good? I hope so after all that stress and strain! ;-)

Tash said...

This is hilarious! the list kept growing as I scrolled down.
Your group is very persistant in getting the cork out. I think we would of gotten a hammer and pushed it in!